Slow Down Time

There is so much to update that I am not quite sure where to begin.  This should probably be three separate blog posts, but I'll  just type it all out at once.  You may need to take a few breaks. 

I guess I'll start with saying that my beautiful little girl is now 10.5 months old.  Her first birthday is fast approaching.  I am both excited and a little melancholy (you know, head like a melon, face like a collie).  I am excited to see what comes next and what the future holds, but I am melancholy at the fact that she's not such a baby any more.  Sometimes I wish I could slow down time.

Genevieve is eating more solid foods and drinking less milk (unless you count the fact that she often eats all night long as a comfort measure or because it's available).  Up until now she has liked/eaten everything we've put in front of her, even if it was in very small amounts.  She has now developed some preferences, and her behaviors during meal time, including breastfeeding, can be highly comical.  When nursing, she sometimes reaches up to pull my hair repeatedly - not in a mean way, but in a way that seems she is fascinated with it.  This is probably in large part because she herself has very little hair still.  She will also rub a foot on me or rub both feet on something that is nearby (a blanket, pillow, toy, etc.).  G hasn't bitten me since she got her first two teeth, and for that I am very thankful!

Genevieve's favorite food is meat, which for her is chicken and turkey.  She likes them both equally.  If I put meat on her tray with a fruit and/or vegetable, she will eat all of the meat first.  She really likes broccoli, but it makes her so gassy (as broccoli does) that we had to stop giving it to her; it was interfering with her nighttime sleep, and we already have enough sleep issues!  She has tried so many foods at this point, but I feel as though she's eaten less than other babies her age because of all of her food issues.  Her GI doctor recommended introducing one new food at a time still and waiting 7-10 days between foods.  We are on blueberries right now, and all seems well.  Genevieve has tried avocado, peas, green beans, carrots, parsnips, broccoli, yellow squash, butternut squash, pumpkin, zucchini, red, orange, and yellow bell peppers, potatoes, sweet potatoes, bananas, apples, peaches, pears, prunes, and plums.  G loves pears and used to eat peas, but this is where I now find them:

Peas thrown on the floor

We went through a wonder week several weeks ago.  If you don't know what a wonder week is, you can read a little more about them here. We were in week 46, and it was a doozy.  This blogger describes the mental leap well.  My normally happy baby who can play by herself for short periods of time was replaced by a fussy, clingy baby who only wanted to be held and FREAKED out if I left her sight for 10 seconds.  She also refused to go to sleep and thought it was time to play between the hours of 2:30 and 4:30 AM!!  We are now back to normal as she happily entertained herself with her play kitchen, a headband, and her high chair while I did dishes and made dinner.

Genevieve's receptive language is developing more each day, and it's so amazing for me to watch it unfold.  She knows ball, spoon, monkey, straw, drink, milk, Mama, Dada/Daddy, kitty, all done, and diaper.  We are working on up, more, book, bath, and loads of other things.  When I say, "Where's your ball?", she will look around to find it and get it.  Sometimes I tell her to go get something, and she will.  She says Dada frequently, but she also seems to know what it means.  She's trying to say diaper, but it sounds a lot like Dada.  She says "key" or "tee" for kitty, and that is the extent of her vocabulary at the moment.  She does say Mom/Mama on occasion, but it still usually happens when she's really sad and needs comforting.  Sometimes it sounds like she is saying all done, and her occupational therapist even noticed that one.  Once it sounded like she said hi, but she never repeated it.

"Where's your monkey?"

Genevieve knows how to get herself down from my lap and from the couch, and she got herself out of one of the cabinets without getting hurt.  She is not great at it and is certainly not graceful, but I feel so proud when I see her taking on these physical challenges.  She is able to walk with both of her push walkers but prefers the one our friends gave us because it plays music when you push a button.  G knows how to push the button to play the music and will stand up holding onto the walker and dance.  I love her dancing!  I also love her show of frustration at the end of the following video. 

Last week, Genevieve was standing up holding on to my shoulders as I was seated on the ground.  She let go for one second and had a look of nervous excitement on her face.  She did it two more times.  I don't know if I'm ready for her to be standing independently.  That means walking will follow, and Lord knows I'm not ready for that.  Well, maybe I am.  J keeps trying to help her stand on her own, but tonight, she had a death grip on his arms.  I guess she didn't like that game anymore.


We are still working on food issues and sleep issues, and I am now convinced the two go hand in hand.  She only has a bowel movement every 3-5 days and needs the help of prunes to go.  Then she will have about 4 bowel movements in one day, each involving straining, grunting, whining, crying, and panting.  What's funny is that they aren't hard like you would expect from constipation.  This was the exact scene from today in fact.  Unfortunately, there was also mucous and blood in some of the stools, so I have decided to lay off the wheat and vitamins, which I just started last week.  I am not sure which caused this reaction or if either one did.  I do think she reacted to eggplant I ate a couple of weeks ago, probably since it's related to the tomato, which cause major issues for my love.

Two nights ago, G would simply not fall asleep no matter what.  She was starting to fall asleep several times, so I know she was tired.  I don't think she was overtired because she had two great naps today.  Sure enough, she pooped, and then I was able to get her to sleep like normal.  She slept for two hours and then comfort nursed nearly every hour for the rest of the night.  The next night, I didn't get to sleep until 5 AM since the only way she would sleep is upright in my arms.  She didn't nurse as usual, so this tells me it's a reflux issue and not a habit or my fault for not sleep training her.  We have a follow up appointment with Geneveive's GI doc along with a nutritionist on March 11th.  That day can't come soon enough for me, and I really hope I get more from the doctor than for me to just keep doing what I'm doing.  It can't be normal to be eating things like peaches and pears with every meal and still not produce a bowel movement regularly.  I think I will just start doing prunes daily and see if that helps her.

Some days I feel really discouraged by not knowing what to do to help Genevieve.  I get wrapped up in the trials that I forget to enjoy it all.  It's hard not getting any breaks from a baby all day.  I had counted on having her nap times to get things done or recharge, but I didn't get the kind of baby who naps on her own regularly (please don't offer sleep training advice).  Sometimes she does give me 20 minutes.  She has been known to give me two hours, but I am so afraid she'll wake up that I still hardly get anything done!  It takes more than an hour and a half to get her to sleep at night, and that leaves no time for J and I to spend together, especially since she doesn't always stay asleep.  I'm not trying to complain here.  Okay, maybe I am.  It's my blog, and I'll do what I want.

I am just working to adjust my expectations.  That is hard for a perfectionist who wants to do it all, well, perfectly.  I want to help my baby be more comfortable.  I want to help her sleep better.  I want time for myself to shower, eat, cook, clean, etc.  I need time to myself to learn HOW to cook with all of my dietary restrictions.  I want time with my husband to strengthen our marriage.   (Anyone want to babysit??)  I get really down on myself for not having a cleaner home, especially since I am home almost all day every day, but I am trying to be more gracious with myself in all of these areas.  It's been a challenging, yet very blessed, 10.5 months.        

I need to remember to rest in the Lord.  It's all in His hands.  He will provide, and I know He has been teaching me some valuable lessons these past 10 1/2 months. 

In closing, I leave you with a song by one of my most favorite artists.


Staring at this empty canvas,
Waiting for the next stroke of my life.
It seems to go by so fast.
Another day I've wasted wondering,
How it all ends up instead of resting,
That it's all in Your hands.
My only piece is waiting before You.
My praise to You,
Drowning noise around me.

Chorus:
I wish I could slow down time,
I wish I could wait here at your feet.
'Cause with you is the only place that I wanna be.
I know I should take it all in stride.
I know you are there with every reach.
'Cause with you is the only place that I wanna be.

On my own I always fade out fast,
On the run my every step will last.
I'm resting in your words that never fail.
Your searching every part of me.
I need to stop so I could hear You speak.
I long for you so here I am so thirsty.
My only piece is waiting before You.
My praise to You,
Drowning the noise around me.

(Chorus)

It's where I wanna be,
The greatness of your presence always leaving me here speechless.
I've given up on making this life my home.
In the fullness of your glory is beyond my comprehension.
There's no greater joy then being with you my King.