Genevieve 101: Part 5

Climber, no climbing!

87. You had your 18 month check up with Dr. Jackson on 8/29/13.  It was good to be back with him.  He is a wonderful doctor.  You weigh 23 pounds and are 32.5 inches tall.  You weigh more than 56% of other girls your age, and you are taller than 74%.  When you got your vaccine, you didn't even cry when the needle went in, but you did whimper when they started to inject the vaccine.  You stopped as soon as they removed the needle, but you wanted to nurse.

88. One morning, you wanted to breastfeed while lying down on the couch, so we did.  I noticed you were sweaty, so I said, "you are sweaty!"  You stopped drinking, pointed to the ceiling fan, and said, "on."  You, my dear, surprise me with what you understand!

Oh boy, I have been bad about finishing up this series.  The above two entries were done in August, and it is now mid October!  Let's see how many things I can write down now.

89. You have had a language explosion and are a little parrot.  You are trying new words everyday.  Some words like "bubbles" are very clear, and other words like "cereal" are only recognizable by your mother.  My next blog entry will be about all of the words you are saying right now.

90.  We took a trip to Portland at the beginning of September to visit Auntie Carolyn.  You were such a good traveler despite not feeling well.  You loved the ocean, the park, playing bubbles in Carolyn's yard, running in circles through the rooms of Carolyn's house, and causing mischief wherever we went (i.e. dumping out the cat's water all over Carolyn's living room).

91.  You really love to play pretend right now.  A wonderful friend gave you a Dora castle with some furniture and a Dora figurine.  You also include in the pretend play your Beanie Baby Chipmunks, other small stuffed animals, and Jesus, Mary, and Joseph statues.  You make them fall from the top of the castle and say "help me".  Then another "person" comes and helps them up.  They take naps, knock on the door, pretend to swing, and fly in your Little People airplane.

92. The other day when I was making one of your stuffed animals cry, you picked them up, hugged them, and gave them some milk.  You are a sweetie.

93.  You are obsessed with the Chipmunks movie Chipwrecked.  You ask for it as soon as you wake up in the morning, and you beg to watch it all day.  One day when neither of us got any sleep and you were super clingy, I put the movie on for you, and you watched almost the entire 90 minute movie.  I'm not proud of letting you watch so much T.V., but some days, it's a sanity saver.

94.  You tolerate headbands now.  You like to take them off and put them back on.  You comment when other people are wearing headbands.

95.  When we were in Portland, I was rubbing your back to help you fall asleep when you started singing Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star for the first time.  I was so surprised, and you have been singing it ever since.  You also sing part of Bad Romance by Lady Gaga (La, la, la, la, la-a, ga, ga, ga ga ga-a) and the animated Chipmunks theme song (doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot.  Alvin, Simon, Theodore!).

96.  You are crazy about pumpkins right now.  Of course they are everywhere being that it's almost Halloween.  You point to them and say "pumpkin!"  You call your little pumpkin "baby", and the bigger pumpkin "daddy" just like Daddy taught you.  You count pumpkins in people's yards but never go past the number one.

97. You are now an expert at drinking from a cup, but Daddy and I often have to take your cup away at dinner because you are playing in it.  You stir your water, put your food in it, put your hands in it, and sometimes spill it all over.

98.  You want to help me vacuum, and you like handing me clean dishes from the dishwasher to put away.  You do not like cleaning up your toys and books, and it almost takes a miracle to get you do to so.  Yesterday, I was so surprised when you started helping me clean up your toys without being asked, and you said "clean up".  I know this will be a life long battle.

99.  Your Grandma Susan warned me that finding shoes to fit your narrow feet would be difficult, but it is much more difficult than I even anticipated.  I spend more money on your shoes that you'll grow out of in three months than I do on my own shoes.  Oh well.  You will probably be able to find cute, stylish shoes when you are much older.  For now, shoe shopping is a pain.

100. Swinging is your most favorite thing to do.  If I let you, you'd stay on a swing for hours.  You are now able to handle a regular swing instead of a baby bucket swing.  Of course I'm always nearby, but you hold on very well after having a couple of falls that scared you more than hurt you.

101. What should my last entry be?  How about a perfect capture of life with a toddler?
Genevieve, you are into EVERYTHING!  You can reach so many things on the counters, so I have to make sure everything is pushed far back.  You climb on the big chairs at the kitchen island.  You climb up and over the end tables in the front room.  I'm just waiting for you to try climbing the baby gates (did I just jinx myself?).  I can't turn my back on you for one minute, as evidenced by you getting into the cat litter today.  Sigh.  I get nothing done around the house unless you are "helping" me, but that's okay.  We find other ways to spend our precious time together.

I love you my dear Genevieve, even though YOU ARE STILL NOT SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT!  

Genevieve 101: Part 4

"I'm running in the rain.  Just running in the rain..."

I'm going to keep this entry a little shorter because my comments were getting to be quite long.  26 things would be too much to read at once unless you have all day.  

76. One day at Connie's house, little miss Hannah fell and hit her head on the ground.  You came up to her and fake cried and then tried to hug her.  While Hannah was in her mommy's arms, you kept trying to hug her and give her things to make her feel better.  You handed her her leftover baby food pouch, some puffs, and a bag of peas.  I think you even tried to wipe her tears with a little blankie.  What a good heart you have.  Thank you for being so kind and loving.

77. Aunt Rachel tried to teach you to put your finger to your mouth and say "sh".  You did it once on your own about a week later.  Now, you are starting to understand the purpose/meaning of that motion, and you sometimes do it when your "deedee" (baby) is sleeping.

78. We've resorted to trying Miralax.  Well, it certainly has helped you poop, but it makes you have poops that are near diarrhea (including lots of sharts).  Your GI recommended half a cap full (a tad more than half a tablespoon) mixed in 14 ounces of liquid.  I cut back some, and that makes you not poop at all.  You are an expert at holding it in.

79.  After a week on Miralax, I decided to call it quits.  I just didn't feel good about giving it to you in the first place, and I think it gave you upset bowels.  Your BM's were also way too much like diarrhea and way too frequent.  Your bum could not handle it and was so red and irritated.  :(

80.  You LOVE eating fruit leathers!  You've been eating one a day and would eat more if we allowed it.  I think they are helping you poop regularly, so I will keep letting you have them.  

81.  You've started using this maniacal laugh.  You use it when you get your way or are really excited about something, but I think you use it just because sometimes after seeing the way it makes your daddy and I laugh.

82.  While coloring one day, you got up and went over to your book box.  I told you to please keep your crayons by the paper.  You said something like "Oh", put your crayon down by the paper, and then ran into the kitchen.  You came back with a wet rag and started wiping the wall.  That's when I noticed a purple mark on the wall.  Ooops.  I'm pretty sure this was an accident, and I thought it was so great that you attempted to clean it up all on your own.  I took a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser to it, and the crayon went bye bye.

83.  You are a great "Flashdancer".  When you throw a fit or are just dancing to music, you do a move that reminds us all of the dance to Maniac in the movie Flashdance seen here.  You go up on your tippy toes and move your feet up and down quickly.  Have I ever told you how hilarious you are?

84.  One night, you absolutely refused to fall asleep.  I resorted to putting you in your crib and letting you scream and cry for about two minutes while I sat in the chair next to your crib.  When I got you out, you nursed yourself to sleep within 30 minutes and slept for seven hours straight before waking up.  Letting your scream for a short time has worked in the past, but you've never slept that long.  I think you just need to release all of the energy you hold in your tiny little body.  

85.  At lunch one day, you really wanted to hold your black and white stuffed puppy with the bunny ears.  I washed you up and let you hold the puppy while you ate your little square of cookie.  You showed the puppy to me and then make the monkey sound.  The look on your face said, "Wait.  That wasn't right."  Then you made your dog sound, and I laughed. 

86.  You love the rain and lightning.  You say rain and light, and you love running around in our unlandscaped backyard.  I just have to look for rusty nails ahead of time.  :( 

Genevieve 101: 51-75

Funny girl!

I have put off this blog entry long enough.  I am making myself sit down and take the time to finish it.  I mean, I only started it in May, and here it is almost mid August.  

May/June
51. The other night you insisted on wearing your frog eyes headband while you nursed to sleep.
52. You have been into hitting these days, so after hitting me one day, I took your hand and rubbed it softly down my cheek saying, "Nice. Nice".  Now, you will hit (on purpose at times) and then immediately run your hands down my cheek saying, "Niiii.  Niiii."  It's worth getting hit for the sweetness that follows.
53. You have started plugging your ears.  I think you have figured out that things sound differently this way.
54.  You make this weird sound when you want to watch the Fraggle Rock intro.  It took us so long to figure out what this meant, and finally your daddy put two and two together.
55.  For awhile, you kept waking up in the middle of the night super hungry.  You will nurse, and nurse, and nurse but not fall back to sleep.  I have to get you up, put you in your high chair, and give you a full meal which you scarf down with gusto.  Then I nurse you back to sleep where you'll go another 2-3 hours.
56.  You don't want to eat a lot during the day lately, and you only really breast feed before your naps.  I decided to give the Elecare Jr. toddler formula another try just to give you some extra calories.  You probably only drank about 3 ounces but seemed to like it at first.  It's very sweet and vanilla flavored.
57.  You would not let me put you in your crib tonight.  You fell asleep in my arms three times but cried each time I put you down.  This is not usual.  After letting you cry a few minutes to give myself a breaky poo, I came back to try a fourth time.  That's when I noticed you were passing gas.  I think you may have a corn intolerance after all since the main ingredient in the toddler formula is "corn syrup solids".  That's the only new thing you have had in a long time, and there was nothing new in my diet.  I gave you some Benadryl, nursed you to sleep, and so far you have been asleep in your crib for an hour and 45 minutes.
58.  The other day you walked up to Pawncho, something he rarely allows, and you rammed him with your belly.  You squealed with delight and then grabbed his tail.  I told you to be nice, and you tried to pet him saying, "Niiiiii."
59.  You were a pretty good traveler on our Southern California trip.  You actually slept better the first few nights than you have in a really long time.  It was nice to have gotten a little more sleep than usual.

July/August
60. I have been taking you to an indoor playground, and you love being pushed in a Little Tike Cozy Coupe. Your favorite is the fire truck one because it has a CB radio that you pretend is a phone.  You are getting braver about going down the slide, but you still want Mommy to hold your hands.
61. You switched to taking only one nap a day while we were in Bullhead City at the beginning of July.  At this time, two naps were too many, but one nap seemed like too few.  We have since adjusted, and you take one 2 1/2 hour nap every day (unless you need to poop, are sick, or are teething.  In those cases, who knows what your sleep will be like!).
62. You have favorite songs that play on a Pandora station.  You will stop what you are doing, go look at the Squeezebox screen to see what album cover is showing, and then you get down and get funky!  One of your favorites is Kesha's Die Young.
63. You recognize musical tunes very well.  When I start singing Old MacDonald, you make the quacking sound.  When I start singing Itsy Bitsy Spider, you start doing the hand motions.  You will even recognize the tunes when I only whistle them.  I really hope that you are musically inclined.  I know a good guitar teacher for the future.
64. One night, when you were coming down with a cold, Daddy was trying to comfort you, but you only wanted Mommy (like usual).  Daddy brought you into the kitchen where I was, and you reached out to me.  I took you in my arms, and then you pushed on Daddy's chest and said, "Go."  Daddy and I laughed, but then Daddy told you that you hurt his feelings because he was only trying to make you feel better.  You had used the word "go" earlier in the day for the first time when I said were were going bye bye, but we were both surprised at how well you applied it to a new situation.
65. Everyone says how much they love your facial expressions!  You make the funniest faces, and I don't have the foggiest idea of where you get them.  ;)
66. We bought you a play kitchen with lots of food and dishes.  The first thing you did was pick up the phone and say "woh" (hello).
67.  Mommy and Daddy showed you how to lick the pretend ice cream cones.  I was thinking that you really had no idea what an ice cream cone was, so one day I put some coconut milk ice cream in one of your plastic cones.  You enjoyed it so much that you screamed when it was all gone.  Then you made the more sign.
68.  Your vocabulary is out of control!  You need Mommy or Daddy to interpret for you, but your newest words are egg, pizza, knee, elbow, apple, peach, Elmo, Ernie, backpack, and probably a few others I am forgetting.  I'm sure there will be new ones tomorrow!
69.  When walking around Wal-Mart one day you said "Cookie.  Elmo." while you pointed.  When I looked where you were pointing, there was a product with Cookie Monster and Elmo on it.  I was surprised that you recognized them.  We read a couple of books with Elmo, and I've shown you some YouTube clips of Cookie Monster from Sesame Street.  I just laughed and told you that you were right. 
70.  When shopping at Dollar Tree, you pointed to something and said, "Backpack. Backpack."  There was an item with Dora the Explorer on it, but you call it backpack, backpack.  Mommy and Daddy have caved in and let you watch some TV.  Sometimes we watch it with you, and sometimes it is a babysitter because Mama needs to get dinner done and gets frustrated with you interrupting.  (Yes, I've tried other things, but my dear Genevieve has no interest unless it is trouble or extremely messy.)
71.  You no longer want bedtime stories.  You still want to read and listen to books - just not before bed.  Instead, you want to turn your sounds on and get right to the business of drinking milk. 
72.  I bought you a Dora toothbrush in the hopes of you being more cooperative during the struggle that is brushing your teeth.  It worked the first night...
73. We started you on a daily probiotic.  It was a last ditch effort to help with your digestive/constipation issues.  At first it caused you to have a BM every day except one day.  Now we are going on two days with no BM, so I am "this close" to giving you Miralax, though I have been fighting that idea since March.  I'm pretty sure you are holding it all in, which just makes everything worse, including the smell of your toots. 
74.  Currently you are cutting three eye teeth, and you have been very crabby.  I don't blame you, but I'm ready for the teeth to poke through already.  You refuse most foods, but today I got you to eat one green bean, a couple of strawberries, a piece of lettuce, some puffs, pureed mangoes with your probiotic mixed in, and some red grapes.  You want nothing to do with your usual favorites like chicken or broccoli. 
75.  Today (8/13), you had your first pulled elbow.  You were running away from Mommy at the library, and when I took your hand, you immediately laid yourself down on the ground causing your arm to get pulled.  You held your arm, said "ow" and started fussing but not full on crying.  I kissed your arm, said sorry, and noticed you were a little distraught.  I picked you up as you kept saying ow, and you put one arm around me and laid your head on my shoulder.  I couldn't see anything wrong, but I figured some ligaments were pulled or something was slightly out of place.  There was no swelling, and you were able to use your arm; you just didn't want to use it.  You fussed the short drive home from the library.  Not being sure I should take you to the doctor or not, I gave you some Tylenol and took you to nurse for a nap because it was nap time.  You started to fall right to sleep, but I noticed that your usually roaming hand was not roaming today.  You also would stop drinking to say ow and whine or cry.  My heart was breaking, and I knew I needed to take you to the doctor.  Unfortunately, they were closed from 12-1, and it was 12:30.  I nursed you some more, and then we went to the doctor.  By the time we got there just after 1:00, you were starting to use your arm and were no longer complaining.  I figured it was better to be safe than sorry.  Dr. S said it was probably "Nursemaid's Elbow" (which I had read about beforehand), and she said sometimes the elbow will just pop back in.  She said if now, then she would be able to pop it back in no problem.  Dr. S. checked you out and said everything seemed fine.  You weren't fussing or holding your arm anymore, so we came home where you had a nap.  What a day!

I think for my next entry, I am going to try to type up one or two things each day.  That will help me get this done a lot faster.  After this, I will need to buy a calendar, so I can jot down observations each day like I did for Genevieve's first year.  Yet another thing I need to get to...  

Birch Aquarium

Day 3 in San Diego is kind of a blur.  I can't really recall the morning, though I'm sure J and I wanted to stab each other in the eye.  That's what happens when you are cooped up in a tiny, non-baby proofed condo instead of being out in the fresh ocean air.  I don't remember if Genevieve had a nap before we went to the aquarium or if we hoped that she'd fall asleep on the way. 

It didn't take long to arrive at the Birch Aquarium at Scripps in La Jolla.  Before entering I snapped this pic of J and G. 

If you've been to the Seattle Aquarium, as we have, then most other aquariums will be ruined for you.  This one was not even in the same league as Seattle, but there were still some good exhibits. 
I liked this pregnant wolf eel resting on her side.

There were a lot of kids there, but we were able to get plenty of viewing time. 

We went outside to check out the tide pool creatures, but Genevieve was mostly interested in climbing up and down the steps.  She took a break from that to pick up leaves.  We joked about how we payed $17 for J and I and all G cared about was steps and leaves!  Oh well. 

 The view from the outdoor area at the aquarium was pretty nice. 

They have an exploration area outside where Genevieve and J had fun making waves.  We put G into the shark's mouth for a picture, but her favorite thing outside was the shark cage.  She ran in there, danced around, talked to some big kids, ran out, grabbed the bars, danced some more...you get the idea.  Genevieve was being Genevieve. 

After our aquarium visit, it was back to the condo for G's nap.  She slept for about an hour and a half and woke up with just enough time to get ready to meet a friend of mine for dinner.  We went to the Cheesecake Factory and had a great visit with Cinnamon, who is expecting her first baby, a son, in August.  It was a great close to our third day in San Diego!

Sun and Sand...Lots and Lots of Sand!

Day two of our vacation was designated "beach day".  Before we could begin though, we needed to get J some swim shorts since he somehow forgot to bring his.  After showers and breakfast we headed off to a beach wear store.  There was no shortage of them nearby, but I was unaware that J had a specific one in mind.  After walking quite some time and passing no less than 5 viable stores, I tripped on the uneven sidewalk and broke my flip flop.  It was literally hanging on by a thread as we trekked farther up the road, but it wasn't long before there was no flip in the flop.  I'm sure the situation was quite comical to someone on the outside, but I was not laughing at the time.  I tried tieing strings of wipes together to hold my shoe on my foot, but they only kept ripping.  J wanted to keep going to get to the store he had in mind, which I didn't understand because there was a beachwear store RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET!   He offered to go buy me a new pair of flip flops and then come back for me.  Um, no.  That wasn't going to work for me.  Okay, this story is dragging on.  In the end we crossed the street where I found a $60 pair of flip flops (gasp), and J got a nearly equally expensive pair of board shorts.

We walked home where it was time to feed the beebs and get her down for a nap before hitting the beach.  She didn't eat much because she was so tired, so it was off to bed for her.

G slept for nearly two hours.  During that time, J was restless and grumpy.  He was frustrated by how little we had done this day because of Genevieve's schedule.  He walked and grabbed lunch at the Olive Cafe right around the corner from the condo, and when G woke we got in our suits and sunblocked up.  J hated the sunblock I brought because it was difficult to apply.  Anywho...we grabbed the beach chairs, towels and umbrella and walked to Mission Beach. 

After setting up the beach chairs, which unfortunately were a little rusty, we headed out to the waves.  Genevieve was squealing and running around as the waves rolled in. The water was pretty powerful, so we had to have a good handle on the G meister.

To say Genevieve loved the sand would be an understatement!  She sat in it, dug in it, sprawled out in it, threw it, kicked it, and even tasted it...twice.  I guess she didn't learn her lesson the first time.  There are too many pictures to post on the blog, so you'll have to check out the rest on Facebook. 

Do I have sand in my hair?

 

 When we got back to the condo, we had to shower up.  Unfortunately for us there was no shower outside of our condo like many of the other beach properties had.  One of the friendly neighbors was out and offered us the use of her hose.  Luckily for G, the water wasn't too cold.  Unluckily for G, the hose was not dislodging the sand that completely covered her.  G screamed her head off when being washed in the shower, so I had to do the best I could and then pass her off to J.  He got her ready for her nap while I finished my shower.

After G's nap, we got ready to go out to dinner.  I packed up some food for Genevieve and I, and we all walked down Mission Blvd.  J wanted to carry her rather than using the stroller, and I thought he was a little crazy.  I really thought he was crazy the farther we got from our condo.  We happened upon this Thai restaurant, which made me excited because I am able to eat green curry without giving Genevieve any problems!  The food was great, and we left a little bit of a bigger tip than normal because G made a mess of their lovely tablecloth.  :\  

After dinner, we went across the street to The Baked Bear so J could see what a customized ice cream sandwich shop was all about.  Basically, you choose the outer cookies and the flavor of ice cream.  J knew that all of that sugar would kill him, so he opted for a single scoop of mint chocolate chip ice cream in a waffle cone.  On our looooong walk home (okay, it wouldn't have felt that long if we weren't carrying Genevieve), G made friends with just about everyone we walked by.  She kept waving to people behind us and saying, "hi".

Okay, that's it for our 2nd day in San Diego.  If you're not bored yet, there will be more to come! 

To San Diego!

We decided for our 15th anniversary that we wanted to take a trip as a family, and I thought it would be fun to take Genevieve to the beach.  San Diego seemed like a good option, so we rented a condo, packed up food and belongings, and headed west!

J thought we should wake G up early in the hopes that she would fall back asleep for the first leg of the trip.  Based on our previous experiences with Genevieve and sleep, I wasn't sold on this idea.  We got her up at 5:00, changed her diaper, gave her some milk, and got in the car close to 5:15.  After putting gas in the car and ice on our food, we were off!  G was not falling back to sleep.  I gave her some food and water and that at least stopped her from fussing.  We made a pit stop at the Fry's in Yuma, and luckily for J, there was a Starbucks inside.  There was a gas station in the same parking lot, so J filled up while I nursed the beebs.  Then we were on the road again.  I gave G her baby to hold, and then just ignored her.  She was asleep by 8:00. 

G sleeping with her "deedee"

 

 

Genevieve slept for about an hour and a half, and then we stopped at the Golden Acorn Casino in Campo, CA.  J and I took turns using the facilities and walking G around.  One older couple joked that we were "teaching her early".  After nursing G again, we headed out for the last stretch of the road trip.  I read G's new Peekaboo Baby book, and then we played a few rounds of peekaboo ourselves.

Genevieve also played with her new magnet doodle board.

When we got into San Diego, J was hungry.  We stopped at a little commercial area and found a Fuddruckers.  G and I had turkey, green beans and some apple while J chomped down on a burger and fries.  Yes, I was a tad jealous.  After lunch, we headed to Fiesta Park on the bay while we waited for confirmation that we could check in to our condo early.  It was only around 2:00, and check in time wasn't until 3:00. 

The sidewalk was quite sandy, so the first thing that happened was Genevieve scraped her knees.  That didn't squelch her excitement for the park though.  She ran in the grass, though we had to be careful of all of the bees.  She checked out the water, and took a ride on a swing before we got the confirmation to check into our condo. 

We made our way to the condo and very carefully parked the car in our little parking spot.  After glancing around and setting up the pack and plan, we all went down for a nap.  To our surprise, G slept for a little more than two hours.  When she awoke, we got in warmer clothes as it was after 6:00.  We decided to walk 4 minutes across the street to walk along the boardwalk to find dinner. 

Our first view of Mission Beach

J decided on a pizza place where G and I had turkey, green beans, apples, and a pumpkin muffin.  We then walked along Mission Blvd. rather than the boardwalk to get back to our condo where we called day one a success.

Genevieve 101: 26-50

26. You have started walking backwards.  I think this began when I showed you how to pull a toy squirrel your Great Aunt Carolyn gave you.  You are too young to do this well, but you love it when you can get it to work as demonstrated by your high pitched squeal. 
27.  You said thank you and used the sign for it for the first time 5/14.  Now you say it all of the time.
28. You also now say "all done" very clearly and make the sign for it, but you don't exactly understand the full meaning.  You do get your point across at times though. 
29. You have been trying to say out, on, off, open (oh oh), baby, bye bye, and some other things I am surely forgetting.  You already have a b/d confusion as most things sound like dada (bye bye, diaper, and baby). 
30. At the time I began writing this (a week ago) you had just gone through wonder week 64 and were eating normally and playing more independently.  Sometimes you can be independent, but most of the time you want my attention, even if I'm just sitting in the same room as you.
31. You want to watch TV (sigh).  You point to the TV set, make the more sign, and sometimes grab the remote control.  You like pushing the buttons and making something happen, which usually involves an increase in volume. 
32. Your Scout walker toy plays a song that says "Would you could you feed me a treat.  ..."  When I sing the first part of the song (or even just hum it), you do the panting sounds.  I couldn't believe it the first time you did it!  
33. You, my dear Genevieve, have been fake crying a lot to get what you want. 
34. When fake crying doesn't work, you give kisses to get what you want. 
35. You love getting into the fridge!  The first time you used the word open was when you wanted me to open the door to let you get in. You will sit, stand, move things around, and put your toys inside.  I found your baby in one of the bins one day, and you put a book under the bottom bin (that was very tricky for Daddy to remove). 
36. Without fail, you always want my spoon or fork when I'm eating.  You will not usually settle for your own spoon or fork.  I admit, I give you my silverware. 
37. You want me to swaddle your baby, and then you make me sing "Rockabye Baby" while you rock her.
38. You sing sometimes.  Your voice is breathy and soft and you make different consonant/vowel sounds.  Sometimes you even sing "down, down, down". 
39. When you start singing, sometimes you point to me and make the more sign.  That means you want me to sing a song to you.  Right now you are OBSESSED with the Itsy Bitsy Spider and sometimes even do the hand motions for "down came the rain". 
40. About a week ago, you wanted to lay a blanket out on the floor so you could lay on it.  You had trouble getting it laid out.  You got frustrated and started scrowling (screaming/growling).  I laughed at you, and then I helped you.  You got this idea from Monica Brown at Connie's house last week.
41. Now that another week has gone by, you lay your baby and your stuffed animals on blankets on the floor.  You sometimes lie down with them and make snoring sounds for you and your "babies".  When I say the word sleep, you will often start snoring.  
42. I am beginning to doubt you will ever sleep through the night.  One night you woke up 4 times between 10:00 and 4:00 when I finally brought you to bed.  That's probably a pretty typical night.  I think you just want your mama.  Well, your mama wants you too...in your bed.  Asleep!
43. Two weeks ago, you stood on your tippy toes, reached up to the counter where the bananas were, and said "nana".  I had no idea you knew that word!  I hardly ever give you bananas because, well, um, they tend to "bind" people up.  Now, they are all you want to eat!
44.  You could've been bitten by a rattlesnake on the Monday before last, but thankfully the snake rattled and warned us first.  Daddy was pushing you in the jogging stroller ahead of Mommy.  Mommy needed to stop and take a drink of water earlier than normal because it was a little hotter outside.  It was dark, and there are lots of shadows on the sidewalk.  We saw the last snake before getting too close, but Daddy just couldn't see this one.  As soon as he heard the rattle, he pulled the stroller backwards.  The snake was in his strike pose, so we walked backwards and then far around him to jog back home. Tonight, we went jogging before it got too dark.
45.  You and Mommy have started sleeping in the guest bedroom together hoping that you and Daddy would sleep better.  So far, it hasn't worked.  I am blaming teething.
46.  You love picking up rocks at the playground.  You go to put them in your mouth but know you aren't supposed to, so you give them a little kiss and then look at me.  Stinker.
47.  You are teething like crazy right now!  All of the previous times have only been noticeable by you biting on everything, being a little cranky, and eating very little.  Well, this time you have all of that going on, but you are a great, big drool monster.  I know your top left molar is coming in, but I think your bottom eye teeth may be soon to follow.  You want to comfort nurse all. nigh. long. Oy!
48.  When someone tells you to smile, you give the cheesiest grin in all of the universe.  I love it!
49.  I bought you a pink hamper for your room, and I showed you how to lift the lid and drop your clothes inside.  At first, you thought it was great fun to open and close the lid over and over.  Then you thought it was the perfect place to put books.  Now, when I tell you to put something in the hamper in your room, you do so without any help.  You always impress me with your receptive language skills.
50.  We got you your first pair of real walking shoes at Stride Rite.  You have narrow feet, but narrow shoes are difficult to find.  We at least found a pair that fits your foot well, and you walk great in them!  They are so cute, and you like to carry them around, and much to your mama's dismay, put them in your mouth.  You also try to put them on, and you usually like to help me put them on you.  You are such a big girl now!

Every single day I come up with more things I want to write about.  I don't want to forget all of these moments, no matter how small.  This time is flying by!    

Genevieve 101

My sister Rachel bought me a calendar for Genevieve's first year.  I was so great about writing down little observations, and at the end of the month I would fill in things she was learning, doing, saying, her sleeping and eating patterns, and her favorite toys.  I made a lot of entries until Genevieve was close to one year.  I have a few entries for January, but the whole month of February is blank!  I added a few in March, but I did not make note of her development at the ends of the months.  I thought I'd make a few blog posts about what's going on with my little monkey.  I'm going to try to come up with 101 observations, but we'll see how that goes!

Since her calendar entries are written to Genevieve, I'm going to follow the same pattern here.



1. You wake up happy and ready to go every morning unless, for some odd reason, Mommy has to wake you up.  That is very rare!

2. You have 11 teeth and are working on your 12th, your top, left molar.  I thought you were getting your eye teeth, but I'm not so sure now.

3. You love to dance!  Whenever you hear music, you have to move your body in some way (even in the checkout line at Wal-Mart).  You bounce up and down as if you are doing mini squats.  You shuffle your feet.  You occasionally clap your hands.  Mama and Dada love every second of it!

4. Daddy showed you how to make your stuffed animals dance, and now you do it on your own.  You are a funny kid.

5. You love playing with your baby doll.  You put her in her stroller.  You give her her bottle, and make drinking sound effects, and you carry her around.  Sometimes, you hug and kiss her, and once you gave her to me to nurse.  That was hilarious!

6. You are a good eater.  Right now you love broccoli, green beans, peas, and bananas.  You will tolerate a few bites of sweet potatoes, but you are rather sick of them.  You like apples, but they are not your favorite.

7.  I think you have issues with the texture of foods.  You will not eat eggs.  I've made them fried, and I've scrambled them.  At least you tried them, but you usually spit them right back out.  You also won't eat pancakes, and I don't think it's because they are gluten free.  You did at least swallow one piece.

8.  Going in your jogging stroller with Mom and Dad at night is one of your favorite activities.  You talk and make animal noises throughout the ride.  You love it when we give you the water bottle.  You wrap your legs around it, take drinks, and play with the spout - open, close, open, close.

9.  You are obsessed with animals right now!  You only want to read books with animals in it, and you make lots of animal sounds.

10.  You know the sounds for elephant (complete with raising your hand like an elephant's trunk compliments of Daddy), monkey, dog, kitty, lion, tiger, and cow.  You can also identify these animals in books and in real life.

11.  You are a good napper, thank the Lord.  We change your diaper and put your sleep sack on.  You pick out a story, and Mama reads it to you in the glider rocker.  Then you put the book back on your shelf like a good helper, turn out your light, shut your door, turn your white noise on, and nurse to sleep.  Mama lays you down in your crib, where you'll sleep for an hour and a half.

12.  We do the same routine for bedtime, but we brush your teeth and kiss Daddy good night before reading a story.  We also skip the sleep sack since you have jammies on.

13.  You are pretty good at church.  You like to shake and sometimes tear the song sheet.  You stand on the seats and look at the people behind us.  Usually people comment on how entertaining you were to them during mass.  You sometimes dance to the music, and you've just now started trying to escape by walking away.  You are mostly content to let me hold you when we stand up.

14.  You have figured out how to make the water come out of the water cooler.  The first time you did it, you were very surprised.  I had you help me clean up the water that was all over the floor.

15.  Now that you know how the water cooler works, you like to bring your cups there and try to fill them.  Mama usually helps you.

16.  You prefer to drink from cups or Mommy or Daddy's water bottles.  You are not so great at drinking from cups because you get in too big of a hurry, making the water pour all down your front.

17.  You are always constipated.  I wish you would have normal poops, but they always look like big rabbit poops.

18.  When Daddy comes home from work, you get so excited.  As soon as your hear the beeps from the alarm, you say, "Dada".  Then you stop whatever you are doing and walk to greet him.  You make him feel ten feet tall, and you make mama's heart melt when the two of you hug.

19.  You are testing things out right now.  You throw things on the ground, say "uh oh" and then look at Daddy or me.  You hit your fork on your high chair tray or plate.  You spill your water on the ground or on your high chair tray.  You pull on electrical cords and steal our phones.  Testing, testing, testing our reactions (and our patience at times).

20.  You wave and say "hi".  You also just started saying "Mama", and you use it quite frequently.  You say Dada, uh oh, ow, oh, u(p), down, and it sounded like you said thank you yesterday.

21.  You make signs for more, all done, bath, please (and you've figured out this gets you what you want most of the time), eat, and milk.

22.  You know how to kick things, but you're not very good at it.  Sometimes you end up missing entirely or just stepping on the object you were trying to kick.

23.  You just learned how to spin around.  When Mommy says "spin", you will do it.

24.  Mommy taught you how to wash your hands.  You rub them together quite nicely, and then Mommy helps you get the tops.

25.  You have your Mommy's hair.  We aren't sure the color, but the texture is all mine.  You have a few curls in the back, which we think are adorable.  As for the color, sometimes it looks golden.  Other times it looks brown or reddish.  You have blond eyebrows though.  Hmmmmm....

When I can, I will add another 25 things.  It might be awhile, but I'm sure I can think of them!   

I am a Stay at Home Mom.

It’s official!  I submitted my letter of resignation a month ago, and I received confirmation of receipt from the school district.  Getting to this point has been an interesting process and one I thought I’d share with y’all…at least a little bit. This whole past year has been kind of a trial run and a huge learning experience in many ways.    

When I was around 20 weeks pregnant, I seriously began thinking about how in the world I would continue working at the pace I was and have a baby at home to care for.  I knew my priorities would shift once the baby arrived, but my anxiety kicked into high gear.  I struggled with the thought that I wouldn’t be able to be the teacher I wanted to be because I would be the mother I needed to be. I started talking to J about taking more than 6-8 weeks of maternity leave.  He wasn’t too keen on this idea, but eventually I convinced him (with the help of my mother in law and her sister) to let me take the rest of the school year off.   It took a little longer to convince him that I should take a year leave of absence, but once Genevieve arrived, there was no question we had made the right decision. 

I am so thankful to have had the time to learn how to be a mother, though I’m also thankful that it seemed to happen more naturally than I expected.  I have learned a lot about cooking and cleaning, and I take pride in having time to do both of those things now. Some days though, I feel like I am not cut out for staying home.  My house is a mess, and dinner isn’t always ready when J gets home from work.  In fact, some days I have to call him and tell him to pick something up.  I’ve had to learn that that’s just part of life with an infant/toddler.  I’ve had to learn to be gracious with myself, but still the doubt creeps in.  I wonder if someone else would teach G more than I can – someone who knows more about baby development.  On the flip side of that is the fact that no one knows my daughter as well as I do, so who better to teach her? 

I have worried a lot about not contributing financially.  I’ve worked since I was 16, so it was strange to not be making any money.  J assured me that my job was to tend to the needs of our daughter, and if there was time in my day, then I could tend to the needs of our household.  He told me that I had the harder of our two jobs.  (Did I mention that I love this guy?)  When Genevieve was around eight months old, J said, “How in the world are you going to go back to teaching?!”  I assured him that lots of women do it, and they make it work.   I still wasn’t sure if staying at home was right for our family, though I felt it was where I needed to be.

Some time in January, J told me that the decision to stay home or go back to work was up to me.  At that point I knew I wanted to stay home, so I told him so.  He said, “Well, let’s wait until after G’s allergy testing.”  Oooooookay.  Now I felt like he was wanting me to go back to work.  To make a long story short, we had a lovely talk on our date night on March 1st.  J informed me that he felt as though I wanted to go back to work as to not “waste my degrees” and because he knew how much I love being a teacher.  I told him that if we can make it work, that I would prefer to stay home, especially since Genevieve has so many food allergies.  I only made it seem like I was okay with going back because I thought that’s what J wanted.  It’s a good thing we were finally given time to talk!  We agreed that I would continue staying home for as long as I wanted and for as long as it makes sense for our family.  I do see myself teaching again one day in some capacity (other than teaching my own children), but I am so thankful for this time with my daughter.  Teaching will always be there.    

Kisses

For the longest time, J and I have been trying to get Genevieve to give us kisses.  We model on her.  We model with each other, which creates the funniest faces from G.  We give her ample time to practice, but kisses to her usually mean the sound made when calling the cat. 

Earlier this week as I was making dinner in the kitchen, J was playing with Genevieve in the family room.  He let out a loud, boisterous laugh, so naturally I asked him what caused such a reaction.  He said G gave him a kiss!  We knew it would happen one day, and that day had finally come.  Sadly, there was no repeat performance. 

Yesterday it was my turn.  G and I were playing, and I asked her for a kiss.  She obliged with a mouth open touching my face kind of action.  A kiss!  I can't even begin to explain the rush of love that raced through my body.  She indulged me several more times throughout the day but ignored her father's requests that evening. 

Today, my birthday of all days, she was disinterested in giving kisses.  J tried to coax one from her when he got home from work.  I told him not to feel bad because she hadn't given me a single one all day.  I was nursing Genevieve to sleep, and she was acting very restless and silly.  At one point she was repeatedly hitting me as she nursed.  She kept getting on and off, so finally I put her milk away.  She kept making the eat sign and pointing at my chest (she refused to make the milk sign anymore).  I obliged after the third frantic request for more milk.  After a few sips, she put her hands on my shoulders, pulled herself up to her knees, and gave me a kiss on my cheek.  I laughed, and Genevieve threw her head back in laughter.  It almost seemed like a thank you for giving in to her request.  Of course since her kiss garnered such a positive response, she kept doing it.  She kissed my nose, my mouth, my cheek again.  I kissed her, which made her squeal. 

Sometimes I get frustrated that getting Genevieve to fall asleep takes so much time and effort, but tonight I was reminded of the worth of that time and effort.  I laid her in her crib where she quickly and soundlessly drifted off to sleep. 

[Okay, okay.  I made that last part up.  Here is the reality if you so desire:  I laid her in her crib where she didn't even make a fuss.  Progress.  I rested my hand on her, and she held on to it.  She kept kicking her feet and moving around a bit.  She stuck her arms and legs through the slats to touch me.  She got one foot stuck, and I had to help her get it back into the crib.  I could see that she wasn't going to fall asleep this way because she is a stomach and side sleeper.  I asked her if she'd like to be on her belly and then flipped her over, patted her back a little, and rested my hand on her as she shifted her body several times trying to get comfortable.  I took my hand away and waited.  She continued to move her legs.  I waited for the cry.  When it didn't come after a minute or two, I quietly left the room.  About two minutes later I heard the cry.  I waited to see if she'd settle, and she did in less than a minute.  Another two minutes pass, and she cries again.  She does this sometimes as she's trying to get to sleep.  She was quiet after less than two minutes, so I didn't go in to comfort her.  Her sleep has improved greatly, and I am thankful for her rest and my time to get things done and fill my own bucket.]  

Sacrifice??

I have been meaning to make another post for a week now because there are so many "Genevieveisms" that I want to share, but I decided to put that on hold to write a vent post just for me.  This one is related to this post about teaching. 

So I received "the call" today.  I've been expecting it, though I was still surprised by it.  The district is beginning staffing procedures and needs to know of my intent to return or not return to the position being held for me.  I know what I want to do, but I don't know if that's what I'll be able to do.  Okay, on to my vent!

I mentioned before that I love teaching and am passionate about it.  It's just too bad that the public school powers that be are sucking that passion right out of me.  They just won't let me do what I've been trained to do in a way that is effective for my students.  Instead, I have to read directly from the teacher guidebooks.  Talk about snoozefest!  For example, "they" want you to differentiate your instruction but then give you a workbook that is the same for every kid.  "They" give you 18 books divided into three levels to use for reading instruction.  That would be great if I had only 18 students and they all fit neatly into those three levels!  What about the kid who begins first grade not knowing all of his/her letters?  What about the kid who starts first grade reading at a 2nd grade level?  Should I be having them read "Sam ran up the bag.  Sam ran down the bag.  Go Sam.  Go!"  Puh-lease! 

How in the world am I going to lesson plan, prep materials, grade student work, enter grades in the online grading system, update my website regularly, schedule parent volunteers, communicate with parents, do report cards, attend parent/teacher conferences, attend early morning staff meetings, and attend 20 hours of professional development outside of school hours in addition to my family responsibilities, which come first, of course?  I know lots of people do it either because they have to or because they love teaching/having a career THAT much.  I get it.  I do. I just am bitter about what has happened to public education, and I don't like being made to feel as though I am never doing enough even when I work 60 hours a week.  I can't do that now that I have my precious Genevieve.  I won't do that now, so I am already going in knowing that in the eyes of my administration, I will not be a good enough teacher.  That bums me out.   

I think it will be interesting to see my evaluation scores next year.  On a rubric system with 5 being the highest and 1 being the lowest, I started my career with mostly threes and a couple of twos.  By my fourth year of teaching, having received a ton of support from amazing teachers and administrators (Debbie, Lynn, Tina, Suzanne, Rebecca, Jenny, Leisa, Dawn, Beth, & Dr. C.), I was receiving mostly fours and fives.  When I switched schools I went back down to threes and maybe a two and a four thrown in for good measure.  To be fair, it was a new rubric system at my new school and different people evaluating me, but I really had to prove myself.  By the time I left for my maternity leave, I was receiving nearly all fours with fives either being eliminated or unattainable.  I don't really remember that darn rubric!  I guess what I'm trying to say is, I will be curious if I go back to receiving twos simply because my priorities have shifted, the art of teaching has been ripped away from me, and there is new administration.  I'll fill you in after my first eval.!  You might feel that these evaluations don't matter.  I try to tell myself that, but then again, I have checked out both of these titles from the library: Anxious to Please and The Pursuit of Perfect.  If you must know, and haven't figured it out from the book titles, I am trying to overcome my need to please and am dealing with my perfectionism. 

I am hoping that when (IF) it's time for me to return to work, Genevieve will be sleeping longer than 2 hours in a row at night.  Oh God, please let this be so!  I don't know how people go to work after more than a year of not sleeping longer than 4 hours in a row (and 4 hours in a row has only happened a handful of times).  I hate playing the "what if" game, but...What if Genevieve has true allergies to all of these foods she's now "sensitive"?  I am going to have to make sure she has safe foods to take to daycare.  If I am able to continue breastfeeding, I am going to have to continue avoiding her allergens.  I'm not sure I can do that and work since I have to make everything from scratch.  Maybe she'll want to wean earlier anyway, so I know this could be totally irrelevant.  Remember this is kind of stream of consciousness writing. I would be sad to have to wean her before we are both truly ready.   

God knows best.  His plans are always better than our plans.  He has proven that to me time and time again, so I just have to remember to pray to and rest in Him.  It is late, so I'm not even going to edit this before posting.  The perfectionist in me usually proofreads and waits until the next day to post.  I'm gonna be cah-razy now and hit the publish button!  

Slow Down Time

There is so much to update that I am not quite sure where to begin.  This should probably be three separate blog posts, but I'll  just type it all out at once.  You may need to take a few breaks. 

I guess I'll start with saying that my beautiful little girl is now 10.5 months old.  Her first birthday is fast approaching.  I am both excited and a little melancholy (you know, head like a melon, face like a collie).  I am excited to see what comes next and what the future holds, but I am melancholy at the fact that she's not such a baby any more.  Sometimes I wish I could slow down time.

Genevieve is eating more solid foods and drinking less milk (unless you count the fact that she often eats all night long as a comfort measure or because it's available).  Up until now she has liked/eaten everything we've put in front of her, even if it was in very small amounts.  She has now developed some preferences, and her behaviors during meal time, including breastfeeding, can be highly comical.  When nursing, she sometimes reaches up to pull my hair repeatedly - not in a mean way, but in a way that seems she is fascinated with it.  This is probably in large part because she herself has very little hair still.  She will also rub a foot on me or rub both feet on something that is nearby (a blanket, pillow, toy, etc.).  G hasn't bitten me since she got her first two teeth, and for that I am very thankful!

Genevieve's favorite food is meat, which for her is chicken and turkey.  She likes them both equally.  If I put meat on her tray with a fruit and/or vegetable, she will eat all of the meat first.  She really likes broccoli, but it makes her so gassy (as broccoli does) that we had to stop giving it to her; it was interfering with her nighttime sleep, and we already have enough sleep issues!  She has tried so many foods at this point, but I feel as though she's eaten less than other babies her age because of all of her food issues.  Her GI doctor recommended introducing one new food at a time still and waiting 7-10 days between foods.  We are on blueberries right now, and all seems well.  Genevieve has tried avocado, peas, green beans, carrots, parsnips, broccoli, yellow squash, butternut squash, pumpkin, zucchini, red, orange, and yellow bell peppers, potatoes, sweet potatoes, bananas, apples, peaches, pears, prunes, and plums.  G loves pears and used to eat peas, but this is where I now find them:

Peas thrown on the floor

We went through a wonder week several weeks ago.  If you don't know what a wonder week is, you can read a little more about them here. We were in week 46, and it was a doozy.  This blogger describes the mental leap well.  My normally happy baby who can play by herself for short periods of time was replaced by a fussy, clingy baby who only wanted to be held and FREAKED out if I left her sight for 10 seconds.  She also refused to go to sleep and thought it was time to play between the hours of 2:30 and 4:30 AM!!  We are now back to normal as she happily entertained herself with her play kitchen, a headband, and her high chair while I did dishes and made dinner.

Genevieve's receptive language is developing more each day, and it's so amazing for me to watch it unfold.  She knows ball, spoon, monkey, straw, drink, milk, Mama, Dada/Daddy, kitty, all done, and diaper.  We are working on up, more, book, bath, and loads of other things.  When I say, "Where's your ball?", she will look around to find it and get it.  Sometimes I tell her to go get something, and she will.  She says Dada frequently, but she also seems to know what it means.  She's trying to say diaper, but it sounds a lot like Dada.  She says "key" or "tee" for kitty, and that is the extent of her vocabulary at the moment.  She does say Mom/Mama on occasion, but it still usually happens when she's really sad and needs comforting.  Sometimes it sounds like she is saying all done, and her occupational therapist even noticed that one.  Once it sounded like she said hi, but she never repeated it.

"Where's your monkey?"

Genevieve knows how to get herself down from my lap and from the couch, and she got herself out of one of the cabinets without getting hurt.  She is not great at it and is certainly not graceful, but I feel so proud when I see her taking on these physical challenges.  She is able to walk with both of her push walkers but prefers the one our friends gave us because it plays music when you push a button.  G knows how to push the button to play the music and will stand up holding onto the walker and dance.  I love her dancing!  I also love her show of frustration at the end of the following video. 

Last week, Genevieve was standing up holding on to my shoulders as I was seated on the ground.  She let go for one second and had a look of nervous excitement on her face.  She did it two more times.  I don't know if I'm ready for her to be standing independently.  That means walking will follow, and Lord knows I'm not ready for that.  Well, maybe I am.  J keeps trying to help her stand on her own, but tonight, she had a death grip on his arms.  I guess she didn't like that game anymore.


We are still working on food issues and sleep issues, and I am now convinced the two go hand in hand.  She only has a bowel movement every 3-5 days and needs the help of prunes to go.  Then she will have about 4 bowel movements in one day, each involving straining, grunting, whining, crying, and panting.  What's funny is that they aren't hard like you would expect from constipation.  This was the exact scene from today in fact.  Unfortunately, there was also mucous and blood in some of the stools, so I have decided to lay off the wheat and vitamins, which I just started last week.  I am not sure which caused this reaction or if either one did.  I do think she reacted to eggplant I ate a couple of weeks ago, probably since it's related to the tomato, which cause major issues for my love.

Two nights ago, G would simply not fall asleep no matter what.  She was starting to fall asleep several times, so I know she was tired.  I don't think she was overtired because she had two great naps today.  Sure enough, she pooped, and then I was able to get her to sleep like normal.  She slept for two hours and then comfort nursed nearly every hour for the rest of the night.  The next night, I didn't get to sleep until 5 AM since the only way she would sleep is upright in my arms.  She didn't nurse as usual, so this tells me it's a reflux issue and not a habit or my fault for not sleep training her.  We have a follow up appointment with Geneveive's GI doc along with a nutritionist on March 11th.  That day can't come soon enough for me, and I really hope I get more from the doctor than for me to just keep doing what I'm doing.  It can't be normal to be eating things like peaches and pears with every meal and still not produce a bowel movement regularly.  I think I will just start doing prunes daily and see if that helps her.

Some days I feel really discouraged by not knowing what to do to help Genevieve.  I get wrapped up in the trials that I forget to enjoy it all.  It's hard not getting any breaks from a baby all day.  I had counted on having her nap times to get things done or recharge, but I didn't get the kind of baby who naps on her own regularly (please don't offer sleep training advice).  Sometimes she does give me 20 minutes.  She has been known to give me two hours, but I am so afraid she'll wake up that I still hardly get anything done!  It takes more than an hour and a half to get her to sleep at night, and that leaves no time for J and I to spend together, especially since she doesn't always stay asleep.  I'm not trying to complain here.  Okay, maybe I am.  It's my blog, and I'll do what I want.

I am just working to adjust my expectations.  That is hard for a perfectionist who wants to do it all, well, perfectly.  I want to help my baby be more comfortable.  I want to help her sleep better.  I want time for myself to shower, eat, cook, clean, etc.  I need time to myself to learn HOW to cook with all of my dietary restrictions.  I want time with my husband to strengthen our marriage.   (Anyone want to babysit??)  I get really down on myself for not having a cleaner home, especially since I am home almost all day every day, but I am trying to be more gracious with myself in all of these areas.  It's been a challenging, yet very blessed, 10.5 months.        

I need to remember to rest in the Lord.  It's all in His hands.  He will provide, and I know He has been teaching me some valuable lessons these past 10 1/2 months. 

In closing, I leave you with a song by one of my most favorite artists.


Staring at this empty canvas,
Waiting for the next stroke of my life.
It seems to go by so fast.
Another day I've wasted wondering,
How it all ends up instead of resting,
That it's all in Your hands.
My only piece is waiting before You.
My praise to You,
Drowning noise around me.

Chorus:
I wish I could slow down time,
I wish I could wait here at your feet.
'Cause with you is the only place that I wanna be.
I know I should take it all in stride.
I know you are there with every reach.
'Cause with you is the only place that I wanna be.

On my own I always fade out fast,
On the run my every step will last.
I'm resting in your words that never fail.
Your searching every part of me.
I need to stop so I could hear You speak.
I long for you so here I am so thirsty.
My only piece is waiting before You.
My praise to You,
Drowning the noise around me.

(Chorus)

It's where I wanna be,
The greatness of your presence always leaving me here speechless.
I've given up on making this life my home.
In the fullness of your glory is beyond my comprehension.
There's no greater joy then being with you my King.