Food, Glorious Food!

A wise woman once said to a friend who then told me that she "eats to live rather than lives to eat."  At the time, being at least 30 pounds overweight, I didn't get this.  Oh I knew what it meant.  I just couldn't understand the discipline needed to live this way.  Many, many years later, I learned about eating healthy, but I still lived to eat much of the time.  During breakfast I was already thinking about what I was going to have for lunch.

When I became pregnant I didn't take that as a free for all time where I could eat whatever (well, I thought about it for a good, long minute).  I still tried to eat healthy, but I certainly didn't feel bad about that pizza or ice cream (or 50,000 egg and cheese sandwiches) I ate.  As a nursing mother, I figured I'd continue down the same path.  My lactation consultant said that I shouldn't have to modify my diet, as long as it was healthy.  My milk would become flavored by what I ate, and it would help G get used to different flavors.

I will never forget a difficult night around the time G was three weeks old.  She wouldn't stop crying.  She had a clean diaper and a full belly.  We were bouncing her and rocking her thinking she just needed to sleep.  I consulted The Baby Book by Dr. Sears.  It was kind of like our baby Bible early on.  When G started to toot, I consulted the section on gas.  J and I bicycled her legs and massaged her belly, and after awhile it seemed to help a bit.  This may have been the night I sent J out to get gas drops, but unfortunately they were fresh out.  He brought home some gripe water, so we gave it a shot.  I didn't notice that it helped in the least bit.

As I often do, I began researching what could be causing my daughter such discomfort.  She was crying out in her sleep, but not the usual sleep crying.  She was tossing her head back and forth and kicking her legs.  Pitiful little toots would escape her bum, and she would relax and go back to sleep.  This happened all night long every single night.  I should also mention that her poo was not that of typical breast fed babies.  This changed around the 6 or 7 week mark.  Instead of lovely mustardy-yellow poo we were getting slimy, green poo.    
   
 It turns out that the #1 culprit in all of this is cow's milk protein.  Apparently, babies often cannot digest the proteins until their gut is more developed.  No more milk for this mama.  That meant a lot more than just no milk.  It meant no ice cream, cheese, yogurt or anything made with whey, casein or at least 10 other milk based products that are in so many foods.  Though J was doubtful about this solution, he couldn't argue much when G got seemingly better after only three days of me being dairy free.  On the 4th day, I ate some ice cream.  I felt horrible for the pain I put my daughter through that night and the next day.  I knew I had to give up dairy, and I thought it would be the hardest thing.  It was until I discovered another food intolerance.  Corn.

Corn is in everything in some form.  It has been a nightmare trying to find ready made products or packaged foods that are corn free and dairy free.  After discovering a tree nut intolerance, I almost lost it.  I think eggs are okay, but the jury's still out on wheat.  I have my good days and my bad days with food.  I hate cooking, but now I hate it even more because I feel so limited.  I feel bad that J has to have such a limited variety of dinners because I just don't know what to make, and there is no way I have the time or the desire to make two separate meals.  We have spent so much money on food because all I can really eat is chicken, turkey, fruits, vegetables, rice and quinoa.  Produce is expensive, especially when it's organic!

My daughter's comfort and health have been well worth the dietary restrictions.  I keep reminding myself that this will be such a short period in time compared to the rest of our lives.  Two years will go by so quickly, and I may even be able to reintroduce some foods before G is weaned.  It has never been easier to pass up a slice of pizza or a trip to Cold Stone Creamery.  Going from making very few things completely from scratch to having to make most meals completely from scratch is quite a change (and a challenge with a baby to keep me busy).

I now fully understand eating to live and not living to eat.

p.s. J told me tonight that he is trying to break his chai latte habit, so we can put that money towards healthy foods for me.  That's altruism if I ever encountered it.