VBAC Here I Come!

Genevieve helping to check my blood pressure

For those that don't know the lingo, VBAC stands for vaginal birth after cesarean.  J and I have decided to have a VBAC at home with our amazing certified nurse midwife, Connie with Canyon Midwifery.  We couldn't be more excited for this experience and to meet our new little girl!

On Saturday, Connie came to the house for our 36 week home visit.  It's a regular check up as well as an opportunity for Connie to learn where things are, so when the big day comes, she won't have to ask too many questions or hunt around for things.  We also have a list of things that we will need to prep ahead of time (like starting now) to make things run more smoothly during labor and birth.  Connie delivered our birth kit, which includes disposable items needed during birth, the vitamin K shot Cecilia will receive, and a sweet hat for her that Connie made.  All of these things were brought in a handy diaper bag.

The home visit also helped us visualize where the "action" might take place, and it got me really excited for "d-day". We have rented a birth tub with a built in heater; we will get it at 38 weeks, so it will be available when labor starts (Susan, no bringing up anything about Cecilia coming early.)  J is going to replace our shower head to one that can be handheld; this will probably be very handy.  Connie will be packing her car with all needed supplies, so she'll be prepared when she gets the call that Cecilia is ready to make her debut.

Connie getting ready to measure my belly while G investigates the stethoscope.

Now, for the stats.  My belly has caught up!  I am now measuring 36 weeks.  My blood pressure was 98/60, and I am one pound under what I gained my entire pregnancy with Genevieve.  I'm pretty sure the ice cream I ate every day for several weeks early on in this pregnancy wasn't helpful.  It sure was good though! I got my lab results, and my platelets have slightly raised.  This means we are on for the home birth!  Platelets help with blood clotting, and they were a little low at my 28 week appointment.  If they go too low, I can bleed too much, which isn't safe for a home birth.  They are still on the low side, but I am praising God for their slight increase.  We wonder if I had low platelets last pregnancy because of how much I bled following my c-section.  Also, I am group B strep (GBS) negative, which means I won't need IV antibiotics during labor.  Yay!

Cecilia is nice and low in my pelvis.  In fact, she has "dropped".  My belly is visibly lower, and there is so much pressure in the "low down".  She is right occiput anterior, which is a pretty good position for her to be in.  Left occiput anterior is the optimal position from what I've read, but she can turn herself this way during labor.  Being on the left just makes it easier for babies to rotate and fit through the birth canal.  I'm just glad she's not breech, oblique, transverse, or posterior!  Her little behind has been up by my right ribs, which explains the rib pain I've been feeling there.  Since she's dropped, my rib pain is much less, but there is a new pain on my lower right abdomen.  My hands and feet only get mildly swollen by the end of the night, and the swelling is nowhere near what I experienced with Genevieve.  I'm sure it's because I'm not on my feet all day.

Anyway, we can't quite wrap our minds around the fact that Genevieve's little sister will be joining us very, very soon.  Genevieve talks about playing with Cecilia and wanting to hold her and feed her.  It will be fun to see how she reacts to having this little person invade her space.  I know she will be loving and caring, but I also know it will be a big adjustment for her (and for J and I!).  We are looking forward to having our family come help and visit.  As much as I don't want my parents to miss being there for the birth, Connie said, "Wouldn't it be great though if they missed it by half an hour?"  Translation: My labor and delivery would only be about 3 hours long.  I highly doubt that will happen though, so no worries Mom and Dad.

Okay, Cecilia, you can come anytime after Wednesday 8/20, but I sure would like you to bake a little bit longer.  I'm hoping for a September baby for educational purposes.  Fellow teachers will understand what I mean.        

Happy 46th Anniversary Mom and Dad!

August 17, 1968

I wish I had the words to adequately express my thoughts on this topic, but no matter how long I thought or how many times I rewrote sentences, the words just never seemed right.  I'll keep this fairly brief so as to not sound trite.  Today my parents celebrate 46 years of wedded bliss.  Okay, okay.  I know it hasn't all been blissful, but I do know for sure that if they had it to do all over again, they would still choose each other.  I am so grateful that they found each other to love.  From that love, they had 4 wonderful children and one really, super, duper amazingly wonderful child.  I'll let you decide who that one is!  ;)

My parents have taught me so much about love and sacrifice.  They've argued.  They've laughed.  They've nagged and criticized.  They've forgiven.  They've loved and supported one another, even when it was difficult.  I'll never forget what my mom once said to me about relationships.  She said that relationships aren't always 50/50.  She said sometimes they're 90/10.  For example, if your partner is sick, you might have to be in charge of 90% of the household responsibilities while they only handle 10%.  It's not unfair or unequal.  It's the natural give and take of a relationship as it follows every day life.  This has always stuck with me, and I remind myself of this when I feel like I'm the one giving more.  

I hope one day I can celebrate a 46th anniversary with J.  I have a couple of pretty good role models, don't ya think?  

Here are some pictures I dug up.  I sure wish I had more!

Before Marriage

Wedding Day - August 17, 1968

Christmas 1987

May 1993

September 1996

2001 or 2002 (Ed and Jenna Haller's wedding)
My dad was blowing bubbles, and my mom was swatting at them and laughing hysterically.
I think she had one too many black Russians. 

November 2003? - Grand Canyon

March 2006

June 2010 - Peoria, IL
Enjoying pork tenderloins

June 2010 - Peoria, IL
Outside of my grandma's residence

June 2011
This picture speaks volumes about my parents' relationship.
My dad was clearly teasing my mother, and my mother is going in for the strangle.
I've seen this many times.

November 2013 - Jeff and Jill's wedding
They clean up well.  Such a nice looking couple.

November 2013 - Jeff's wedding
There is always one sibling missing. :(
L to R: little brother Nick, big sister Rachel, Dad, Mom, big brother Jeff, Me

March 2014 - Genevieve's 2nd birthday party
Again, a sibling is missing.
L to R: Dad, little sister Emily, Me, big sister Rachel, big brother Jeff, Mom

Breastfeeding

I have been meaning to write about this subject for many months now, well, ever since I weaned Genevieve back in March.  It is a personal topic, in a way, but many of you know of my challenges and triumphs.  I wanted, for my own sake, to write about my experience starting at the very beginning (it's a very good place to start).

Before Genevieve was born, I knew that I wanted to breastfeed.  I didn't put a specific amount of time on how long I wanted to breastfeed, but I thought a year sounded good.  I remember thinking in the first few days about how easy it was.  Things seemed to be going fairly well, and the nurses and lactation consultant at the hospital were helpful in those early days (except for one nurse, but we won't get into that here).  Then I noticed that G was "tongue tied". This is when the frenulum under the tongue either attaches too tightly or too close to the tip of the tongue.  In G's case, it was attached to the very tip of her tongue, making it impossible for her tongue to stick out past her gums.  The tongue is used to help with suction and proper breastfeeding, so I was worried this would cause issues.  The hospital pediatrician said not to worry about it, so I thought I'd give it a little bit of time.  The second week of nursing was pretty painful, and by the third week I was experiencing milk blisters and a great deal of pain.  I cried every single time Genevieve latched, and she was nursing around every hour.

Tongue Tie

When she was around 3 weeks old, we saw an ENT who snipped the frenulum a bit to release the tie.  After about five or six days, Genevieve was nursing like a champ!  Her latch wasn't fantastic, but she was eating much better.  There was also a decrease in pain for me.  Yay!  Maybe I would make it to a year after all. By the six week mark, we were both pretty good at the breastfeeding thing.

It was around this time that we noticed Genevieve was very gassy and fussy.  She also didn't sleep much. We would rock her and bounce her for 40 minutes for her to only sleep 30 minutes.  She would wake up screaming and tooting.  We knew something wasn't right, but we didn't know what.  She had silent reflux and unusual stools that sometimes included mucous and blood.  Long story short, this was the beginning of us figuring out her multiple food allergies.  It was a long journey of eliminating and reintroducing foods to note reactions.  I lost a ton of weight (bonus) but constantly worried that I would lose my milk supply and wouldn't be able to continue the nursing relationship we had both grown to love.  Nursing was a comfort for Genevieve, and it was something I enjoyed providing for her.  It was amazing to  have nourished her with my body for so long, and I was scared and determined not to lose this ability.  Allergy testing helped us to further pinpoint her allergens, and I just continued to avoid them for Genevieve's sake.  

Once Genevieve was around 15 months old, she nursed much less frequently.  She would nurse first thing in the morning, before nap, after nap, and after bed consistently.  She also drove me crazy with her 1-3 night wake ups wanting to nurse, but I wasn't sure how to break this habit.  She wanted to nurse if she got hurt or scared, and occasionally, she'd want a little snack during the day at some point.  My supply always remained just enough for what Genevieve needed.  I thanked God every day for allowing my body to produce despite my limited diet (no nuts, wheat, soy, dairy, eggs, cocoa, tomatoes, or oats).

Nursing before a nap at the Oregon Zoo

By the time Genevieve was 20 months old, I decided the night nursing had to end.  I talked to G about it, and my mother in law sent me two great books on the topic.  Genevieve liked Sally Weans from Night Nursing much better than Nursies When the Sun Shines.  In fact, she took to Sally so well, that I started night weaning her before I initially planned.  By 22 months, or thereabouts, Genevieve was night weaned. We were down to three nursing sessions a day - morning, before nap, and before bedtime.

At this time, I found out I was expecting baby #2, and my supply started to dip.  I was already producing more on one side than the other, but now one side was almost completely dry.  Genevieve would nurse only before bed now and just on one side.  I knew full weaning was approaching quickly, and to be honest, I think we were both ready.  I head been preparing her for no more mama milk, and I knew she understood. Nothing could have prepared me for how I would feel the first night I didn't breastfeed her.

It was the end of March; Genevieve was almost 25 months old.  I was getting her ready for bed when I reminded her that there would be no more mama milky that night.  I told her the milk was all gone but that was okay because she was a big girl now.  She fussed a bit and cried out "Just one side!  Just the one side!"  I said, "No, honey, the milk is all gone.  There isn't anymore even from the one side."  She laid there as I changed her diaper.  She didn't say anything. She didn't yell or cry out, but tears streamed down her cheeks.  It was as if she were mourning the loss of something so special to her, and I felt my heart break into a million pieces, even though I knew this had to happen eventually.

I held Genevieve and rocked her to sleep that night.  As she drifted off, tears streamed down my cheeks.  It was such a bittersweet moment and one that still brings tears to my eyes.

Genevieve feeds her baby dolls "mama milk" and talks about babies drinking mama milk.  When babies cry, she sometimes says, "Aw, he needs mama milky."  It makes me proud that she equates mama milk not only with nourishment but with feeling good and comforted.  We have talked about how the new baby will drink mama milk (God willing), and she has asked if she can have some too.  I tell her no, that it's only for babies.  There was a day several weeks back that Genevieve was having a complete and utter meltdown, and nothing I did comforted her in any way.  She burst out in tears saying, "I need milky to make me feel better!"  I told her that I didn't have any milk for her, but I could hold her and rock her.  It was enough, but I was really surprised about her request for milk.  I am surprised that she remembered it giving her comfort.

I am looking forward to breastfeeding my next, and final baby, and I pray that my body is able to provide the same nourishment and comfort for her.  I know weaning my last baby will be even more bittersweet.